Your short guide: Festivals 2017

On paper 2017 is looking to be a fine year for British festivals, whatever music you’re into. Despite the big guns Reading and Leeds having by far one of their poorest lineups to date, they’ve still managed to secure a handful of distinguished artists.

This year, countless smaller festivals have upped their game, leaving Reading and Leeds in a murky, defecated shadow. One of these smart-arse hobbits is The Guardian’s Godfather of small music festivals – Truck Festival.

I’m going to try and break down each festival’s stand-out artists with ultimate subjectvitiy that will hopefully cater for all music lovers.

Reading and Leeds

The lineup for this years RandL is less than great. Despite appearances from Kasabian, Muse and Eminem, there’s not really anyone that takes your breath away.

Here’s some of the artists playing worth a listen…

Two Door Cinema Club, Ray Boy, Declan McKenna, The Magic Gang, Fatboy Slim, Chris Lorenzo, The Amazons, The Big Moon, Sundara Karma, Blaenavon, Jax Jones, Superfood, Tigercub, Flatbush Zombies, Liam Gallagher.

 

Truck Festival

 

Image may contain: 3 people, crowd, sky, cloud and outdoor
“I’m a proper lad wearing a cap” Photo credit: TruckFest

If you’re into a truly unnatural composition of indie-rock, drum and bass and classical music, then Truck has probably become for you what home meant for Yossarian in Heller’s Catch-22.

Truck has really pulled it out of the bag this year for its 20th anniversary. Here are some must-listen artists at Truck…

Franz Ferdinand, Slaves, The Libertines, Jaws, Kagoule, TQD, Pulled Apart By Horses, Yak, Palm Honey, The Magic Gang, Tigercub, Get Inuit.

 

V-Festival

*Crowd going wild to Bastille or something*

If being ripped off and listening to music written by narcissistic millionaires is your thing, then V-Festival is probably the best place for you.

Looking through the lineup poster of V-Fest will probably hurt your eyes a little, or at least give you some sort of existential crisis once you realise your headstands and backflips will never be as good as Jason Derulo’s.

Here are some people that are either making money from other artists, *cough* Hannah Wants *cough*, or make music for money…

Pink, Jess Glynne, Sean Paul (for fuck’s sake), Ellie Goulding, Hannah Wants.

 

Creamfields

Image result for creamfields
Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons 

Cream fields personified would probably be someone who voted Brexit because of immigration, or that one fried who won’t go to the city on a night out because your local club is “just as good, and cheaper”. This comes as Cream has just one fundamental ideology, or, theme of music – electronic – that slowly (somehow) divides up into hundreds of sub-genres.

To be fair, there are some decent DJs at Creamfields this year, despite the fact that the lineup seems not to have changed since it started in 1998.

Here are some of the best I could pick out, but are probably to the thousands of tram-lined gym lads just a drop in a shuffle worthy ocean…

Adam Beyer, Deadmau5, EatsEverything, Eric prydz, Hot Since 82, Patrick Topping, Pendulum, Oliver Heldens. 

 

So that’s your lot. We’ve already been blessed with Wireless and Glastonbury this year. And what could be better than watching Ed Sheeran slapping a guitar for a closing set of one of the countries biggest festivals.

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